This ’06 Jaguar XJ8-L Has the Funniest Craigslist Ad
Jake Lane’s hilarious Craigslist listing for a 2006 Jaguar XJ8-L is the automotive equivalent of the famous Craigslist ad by Stangle bros.
Funny ads that turn cars into personalities, and no one does this better than someone who understands Jags. We recently came across an interesting Craigslist ad. The author of the listing is a hilarious Michigan resident, Jake Lane. The listing is one of the most hilarious and cheekiest advertisements we have seen in quite a while. The eloquently written post is a love letter to a 2006 Jaguar XJ8-L. The car belongs to Lane’s mother, and it has been in her ownership for almost 15 years.
Jake himself has close ties to the automotive industry, and currently working as a strategic consultant at Ricardo North America. Jake’s even worked for the Blue Oval brand in the past. The ’06 XJ8-L is in Naples, Florida, and can be yours for just $10,000. Trust us, Jake’s description of the car alone is worth every last cent.
So in true British fashion, let’s not dilly-dally and jump right into the delightful post.
2006 Jaguar XJ8-L
4.2L V8 – 300 horsepower
6-speed automatic
Rear-wheel drive
Exterior: White Onyx
Interior: Champagne
114,500 milesAmidst the challenges of today’s world, it pays to appreciate the little things. Perhaps that’s the flutter of a hummingbird’s wings as he tactfully positions himself over a bushel of tulips. Maybe it’s a child’s laughter while careening down a sun-soaked slide at your local park. Yes, these are wonderful things. They are, however, irrelevant in a world occupied by the Jaguar XJ8-L.
Make no mistake as to what you’ve uncovered on your honorable quest. This vehicle comes from the minds of the United Kingdom’s finest automotive artists. Connoisseurs of elegance, sculptors of magnificence. A Jaguar automobile originating from the famed city of Coventry is not simply made; it is born.
Let’s get down to business. If Tiger King taught us anything, it’s that big cats are all the rage. Long before Joe Exotic was incarcerated and Carole Baskin turned her husband into Fancy Feast, this mighty Jaguar was purring its way down the boulevard and showing off her fine, white coat. Do not be fooled, however. That gentle purr originates from a V8 engine that’ll deliver more scratch than kitten cuddle. Whether you intend to tackle a swift highway entrance ramp or a jaunt to your local market, this is a grocery getter with get-up-and-go. At the beckoning of your right foot, she’s always ready to pounce.
To quote one of Queen Elizabeth II’s recent tweets: “power is nothing without style.” I only speculate, but she likely made this statement after laying eyes on a 2006-vintage Jaguar. Newer Jags have gotten puffy; more like overfed house cats with Instagram accounts. This XJ8-L comes from a time when cats still fought for their food. She’s lean, low, and terrifyingly elegant with a chrome grille reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat’s devious smile. This is what a Jag is supposed to look like.
As you may have guessed, the “L” in XJ8-L is short for “long”. Maybe “luxurious”, too. Double meanings are clever. What the 12th letter of the alphabet gets you is 40 inches of rear legroom. Or, as Americans prefer to measure, .011 football fields’ worth. That’s enough floor space to fit Shaq-sized boots and a small table for your afternoon tea. I cannot confirm whether Shaq drinks tea, but the image is pleasant. That massive metre of legroom also makes this Jag the perfect ride-sharing chariot for your Uber or Lyft endeavors. Your passengers will undoubtedly weep tears of joy upon your arrival.
While any Jaguar spoils its owner with more amenities than a boutique hotel, this kind kitten goes above and beyond. She’s been groomed with navigation and Bluetooth; rare options from the days of printing MapQuest directions. You’ll also have satellite radio to enjoy a plethora of smooth jazz stations. This is a Jag, after all. Most notably, this XJ8-L comes with the famed cold weather package which gives you heated front & rear seats plus a heated steering wheel. The epitome of luxury is having the ability to toast your hands and your buns simultaneously.
Having enjoyed just one owner to date, she has much more love to give. Her paws were updated in 2016 with a set of new tires that have seen 18,500 miles and remain well equipped for the job. Updates in 2017 include new wheels and struts on all four corners, a new t/stat housing, and a new coolant expansion tank. Her champagne cabin was updated with a new headliner in 2019. If you’ve always dreamt of blissfully owning a Jaguar but weren’t keen on being mauled by a real one, you’ve found the perfect solution in this XJ8-L.
Asking $10,000 O.B.O. for this friendly feline. Cash only! Test drive and transaction will be handled at the Collier County Sherriff’s Office – 776 Vanderbilt Beach Rd., Naples.
Contact Jeff at 2Four8-420-15Nine0
Meeting a Jag owner is always a pleasure but with the ongoing pandemic, most of our interactions are limited to the internet. Therefore, it is truly a delight to come across content that perfectly encapsulates the charming personality of the quintessential Jag Man.
Source/Credit: Jake Lane and Jeff Lane
