You've got a sports car, man! It's supposed to be a firm ride.
Seriously, though, I had the same thoughts when I ordered my car. Went with 19's for that reason. I've driven another car with 20's and there is no appreciable difference in ride. So now I'm after looks.... I think 20's look better. I'm not lowering my car or pushing the wheels outwards, just going with 20's.
I can't wait until my HRE's arrive; I'm almost as excited as I was when was waiting on the car to get here on the boat!