It may sound silly, but did you try locking and unlocking the car with the key fob? My other Jaguar requires this.

 

No suggestions but wanted to thank you for the picture of the jack in place to remove the injector. That's a new technique!
These are a real pain and that little tiny slide hammer just ain't got enough ***** to do the job.
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So prior to starting this project the battery had enough juice to start the car. Now it doesn't. So maybe the tender ruined the battery? But, no low battery warning and the instrument panel staying on is worrisome. I did try the lock/unlock with the key fob and also with the old school key in the key fob itself. I'm at a loss at what to do atm...

 

Just an FYI, some AGM batteries can be restored (often quite successfully) by draining them to 9-10V using a small light bulb (a nice slow drain that brings the battery down properly). Then charging them for 16 hours, with Constant Current at 10% of the Amp hour rating.

For example, a 60AH battery would be charged at 6 Amps for 16 hours. Voltage will climb to over 17v towards the end, and is not a problem using this method. If the battery gets too hot, it can be done in 8 hour segments. Charge for 8 hours, then let battery cool, then another 8 hours.

A constant current power supply is available on ebay or MPJA

 

Your foot is on the brake, correct? Brake lights come on? Did you try disconnecting the battery?

Just watched the video, seems like the battery has power.

 

Since I was out of ideas, i bought a new battery. No change. The only thing I can think of I did was I reset the engine fault codes with an OBDII reader and maybe that messed something up? I've tried all the locks/unlocks, connecting batteries, reset things I can think of.

Anyone has any other ideas? I have a really big paper weight right now...

 

Is it still throwing any codes? Could you have forgotten to reconnect the fuel rail pressure sensors? The item clicking is the throttle body actuator I think.

 

So i'm getting a "pending fault" for P064A - Fuel Pump Control Module Performance. But wouldn't the engine still crank? I checked all 6 fuel rail connections and they are connected.

You are correct, that is the throttle body making the clicking sounds.

 

With older cars, the ignition switch activated a relay that powered the starter. Now, that start button is just a request to the computer. It may decline that request if it is getting some error indications. I'm not sure what those are, but I first saw this on a motorcycle. The crankshaft position sensor failed and the starter button then did nothing. I could manually activate the relay and get the engine to turn over, so it was definitely the computer(s) that were blocking it.

I'm not saying that's definitely what's going on here, but it's a possibility.

 

Well, lets just say that I messily know the fuel pump is working (oops). I also disconnected the coils in case I had somehow got them mixed up since the engine was cranking for the compression test I did. Still same nothingness.

Does anyone know if the Jaguar Land Rover Diagnostics Coding Programming Kit Dealer Software IDS SDD JLR could help here? Does anyone know of a jaguar contact in Las Vegas? Trying to avoid $200/hr dealer rates...

 

Lizzardo: When you say the starter button did nothing, was the button like dead or did it shut the car down which is what is happening to me. Was there a secret to manually activating the relay?

 

The button did nothing, as if the ignition were not even on. Because it's a motorcycle (MV Agusta F4 312R) it's fairly easy to reach most things. I took a wrench from the toolkit and shorted the contacts on the relay; not something to try if you don't know which terminals to jump. I was "motivated" to get it started because it had stalled at the metering lights of the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge. I had to push it crossways across 8 lanes of traffic during commute hours. Anyway ...

The main reason I brought it up was to point out that the starter button doesn't actually activate the starter. It's just an input to the computerized system.

If everything shuts down it *might* be trying to activate the starter but the voltage drops too low at that point. Bad (or loose) connection to a battery terminal? Bad ground connection? I'd check the battery connections first since you just touched them.

 

Battery connections are tight.

 

Update: well this isn't going well :/

So first, it turns out there is another fuse "box" not listed anywhere. Its in the power junction coming out of the positive battery cable where there are big 400A fuses. So I found that that fuse had blow as well as finding some wire damage to the battery wire going to the front of the car. I got those fixed and I finally got power going to the starter!

 

Well it is progress so congratulations! At least you can crank the engine now.
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Blowing a 400A fuse under any conditions is certainly "Impressive!" Assuming you didn't drop a wrench across the starter terminals, apparently the main wire wore through somewhere, shorting directly to the chassis. Can probably find out exactly where by looking for the melted crater at that point...

 

Update:
So leaving the cylinders exposed for a couple of weeks was enough to seize them. Fortunately, PB blaster was able to free them (whew). I'm now getting a few new codes:
P0101 Mass or volume air flow circuit range/performance problem
P010B Powertrain (associated with the previous one).
My next action is that I need to clean out the MAF sensors and air filters. I did spray quite a bit of CRC intake cleaner into the throttle body directly to try to do some cleaning, that wouldn't have messed anything up down the line right?

Also, those rubber heat shields, how critical are they to be reinstalled, ie, can I leave them out? They are a PITA to install and I managed to disconnect cylinder 3 while installing it.

Finally, just for your viewing pleasure, this was the short on the main battery wire that arced. Looks like the previous driver ran over something that hit the wire.

 

I just saw your post concerning SDD? I think your going to have a very difficult time bringing this one back to life unless you have a working copy of SDD?
Other code readers just don't go deep enough unless maybe you have one of those Autel devices that are $1200-$1500+ in price.

We have numerous large threads on SDD and I hate to have you stop work on the car to learn SDD but where your at right now is exactly when you need SDD the most.
I have linked this thread many times before as the UK forum has posted these very complete images of SDD. Take a look;
SDD Download Images

Another thread on V160 of SDD.
SDD V160

Here is probably the biggest thread on this forum about SDD.
SDD-The Naked Truth

There are downsides to this software too so beware! I have and use a Chinese clone "Mangoose" cable and your will read that others have had much trouble with these. Mine has been fine and I have done extensive module programming including a good bit of adding/erasing keys.
Here is the official "Mongoose" cable an it's $540! This is not from Drew Tech either but they claim it's a real one.

Another BIG complication is there were multiple versions of this Mongoose interface cable and JLR was a special one. So if you cable is NOT wired to match the Mongoose for JLR then you will have BIG problems. Here is a site that has the chart showing all the different variations of the Mongoose cable. Also note that Drew Technologies no longer even sell the correct JLR Mongoose cable anymore either!

Mongoose Cable Variations

From the same web site here is an "under hood" view of a clone cable and real Drew Tech. cable. Might help you feel more confident about using the cable. I did this to make sure my cable had the correct LED's lite up when hooked to my laptop and BEFORE I plugged the cable into my car! I could not see the colored LED's very well until I got the cover off and yes it's an exact copy of the Mongoose circuit board.
Clone .VS. Real Mongoose Cable Comparision

They did offer the correct JLR cable and for only $50 but currently it's listed as out of stock? So maybe they will get some more? $50 is a good price for a clone cable too.
JLR Mangoose Cable

You also have some other choices for the interface but I always found them to be much more expensive solutions.
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Update:
I cleaned the MAF sensor with cleaner and also replaced/upgraded the air filters to BMC's (since I was there). No change in error (P0101 and P010B). I'm doubting its a bad sensor because that wasn't one of the original errors and I think I have a vacuum leak from my working on the car. Just spraying the vacuum lines with starter fluid to listen to rev increases is the easiest way right? (at least I haven't seen anything easier online so far).

So I am also showing a misfire on cylinder 3 now (P0353 and P0303). I tried swapping some ignition coils and spark plugs and it stayed on cylinder 3 so it isn't the coils/plugs. Do you guys think I could have gotten a bad brand new fuel injector or could it be something else?

Also, to be clear, which is the correct numbering? I found this online which suggests its 1, 3, 5.

BUT, the 2014 repair manual shows 1,2, 3! I have a 2017 F-Type.

 

It will be per the last diagram from the Workshop Manual (so RHS bank rear), those first two diagrams are for the old Jag V6's and not the AJ126.