X type - Off topic section
#742
04-22-2007, 01:55 AM
RE: Hits V Post ratios!
Should wait until it warms up allover the US. Hard to get rid of a v6 stang although it looks brand new. Love the mach 460 sound systems with the tweet in the corner but hard to put that kind of money into a v6 stang. Nice ride though with low miles and excellent shape...just hard to find someone who can appreciate that!
#743
04-22-2007, 12:29 PM
#745
04-23-2007, 12:19 AM
#747
04-24-2007, 04:34 PM
#750
04-24-2007, 09:56 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Glasgow, Scotland UK
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#751
04-24-2007, 10:00 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
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RE: Hits V Post ratios!
LITTLE JOHNNY[/b]
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking,"
Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied,
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.
#753
04-24-2007, 10:08 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Glasgow, Scotland UK
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RE: Hits V Post ratios!
Designated Decoy
One night, a police officer was staking out a particular rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, everyone left the bar and drove off.
Finally, he was able to start his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyser test. The results showed a reading of 0.0 The puzzled officer demanded: "how can this be?"
The driver replied: "Because tonight, officer, I'm the designated decoy!"
One night, a police officer was staking out a particular rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, everyone left the bar and drove off.
Finally, he was able to start his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyser test. The results showed a reading of 0.0 The puzzled officer demanded: "how can this be?"
The driver replied: "Because tonight, officer, I'm the designated decoy!"
#755
04-24-2007, 10:41 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Glasgow, Scotland UK
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#757
04-24-2007, 11:31 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Glasgow, Scotland UK
Posts: 47,302
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4,113 Posts
#759
04-25-2007, 02:43 PM
#760
04-25-2007, 04:33 PM
Senior Member
RE: Hits V Post ratios!
Stolen from another forum....
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. So be brief with people.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thoughts for the day:
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Some people are like "slinkies"- not really good for anything; butit still brings a smile to your face when you push them down aflight of stairs
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. So be brief with people.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thoughts for the day:
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Some people are like "slinkies"- not really good for anything; butit still brings a smile to your face when you push them down aflight of stairs