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A couple of weeks ago, I took delivery of my XFR-S replacement, a 2018 BMW X5M. It may not seem valid to compare an SUV and a sedan, but I find that many of the X5M's traits are similar to the M5's. Some observations follow.
Where the Jag is better
Engine - X5M has impressive power and torque, has no problem shifting this behemoth (which weighs more than 1000 lbs. more than the XFR-S). As usual with BMW, their quoted outputs I suspect are quite conservative, because this vehicle feels almost as fast, if not as fast as the Jag. The turbo lag is minimal, although the delivery is still not as linear as with the supercharged Jag. The sound is the most disappointing part. As in the M5, the 'hot-vee' V8 sounds like a four cylinder. Winner: Jag
Handling - Tremendous mechanical grip for an SUV, amazingly it has more than the Jag, I would guess from my butt-o-meter. But about as subtle as a train wreck. For example, little in the way of throttle adjustability, which I really loved about the Jag. Winner: Jag
Styling - Well, not really a valid comparison between a sedan and an SUV. The X5 is really good looking, but it's no Ian Callum masterpiece. Winner: Jag
The Middle Ground
Ride - Hard to pick a winner here. The X5 is more tied down and in comfort setting on the shocks allows less motion into the cabin on bumps and ridges than the Jag. In this way it is more comfortable on bad i.e. real world surfaces. The Jag moves around a lot more on uneven surfaces, but it also breathes more with the road, and this allows you to get a wonderful rhythm going, and also to read what the car is doing much better, which contributes to the superior handling. So, for everyday roads and general driving, winner is BMW, but for when you want to have fun, especially at sane speeds, winner is Jag.
Brakes - No real winner here. Which is a real feather in the heavy SUV's cap, if you think about the weight involved. BMW is finally putting decent brakes on their performance models.
Steering - Even though the Jag is the clear winner here, with its hydraulically assisted, light but accurate steering, which is delightfully relaxing on the highway and nicely accurate on the back roads, I can't give it a win. Why? Because all the new Jags are also blighted with the horrid, gloopy, numb electric steering in all new BMWs. Did I mention I HATE electric steering?
Where the BMW is better
Quality - Sorry, absolutely no contest here. Fit, finish and materials on the X5M are superb. They are on a completely different level from the Jag. For example, the Merino leather option on the X5M is as good as the leather on my V12 Vantage, and makes the Jag's hides feel like cheap cardboard. An uprated leather option isn't even possible on the Jag, and we are talking two vehicles with a pretty similar price, given the 4 year separation. Little details like bottom edges of seats, carpet and edges in the trunk, and plastic seams are another area where the Jag feels second rate. And remember, this is a previous gen Jag - the newer XF has worse materials, fit and finish IMO. The importance of this topic can't be underestimated IMO, because the interior of the car is where I spend most of the time. Winner: BMW
Running Costs - Routine servicing no charge with the X5M. I realize Jag may have included this with some models and years, but not with mine, so fair comparison in my book. Winner: BMW
Dealership Experience - After having generally average to good experiences at VW, Audi and BMW dealerships over the years, I used to think this didn't matter much. Jaguar ownership taught me it does matter, at least to me. The local Jag dealership is consistently a disappointment; I would sum up their attitude as "We couldn't give a flying f@ck". That I stayed 8 years with them is a real testament to my love of the cars. The BMW dealership, on the other hand, remains above average. Winner: BMW
SUMMARY
So on balance, it seems the Jag wins, if I care about the actual driving more than other factors. And so it does on that basis. But practical concerns (AWD, and to a lesser degree ground clearance and interior room) and actually living with the car won over this time around. Still, if Jag had released an SVR version of the current XF with AWD, I doubt I would be driving an X5M right now.
I completely agree with your evaluation of the dealership experience when it comes to the Jaguar brand. I think this is one area that is a hindrance for JLR in the North American market. Yes, I have been to a few that were less than stellar, that really didn't give a crap, and it showed. I was lucky to find a great dealership. Have fun in the beemer !!