I've wrenched on motorcycles and cars for many years. I call myself fairly safety conscious and generally don't manage to hurt myself too badly.

Pulled a dumbass stunt yesterday. Only resulted in minor injury but could have been bad .... real bad!
(In my own defense, I'm not used to fancy electronics. To quote an old Thomas Dolby one-hit-wonder song "She blinded me with science!")

Installing the driver's door latch mechanism / locking module out of this car into my #1 car. Got it bolted in place, so plugged it in to check locking function. That all worked OK so I continued to hook things up ....without first unplugging the module.
(You can already see this coming, can'tcha!)

Fiddling with the little PITA rod attachment leading up to the door lock, I inadvertently triggered "universal unlock - all hands abandon ship" or whatever the hell Jaguar calls it.

In any event, all windows rolled down including the one that I had both hands stuffed under inside the sharp edged door frame.
Trust me on this ... those window motors are strong! There's no stopping them, either.

Managed to escape with only the need for a few of Johnson & Johnson's finest band aids, but for a moment I was visualizing spending the rest of my life doing everything one-handed.
On second thought, I guess that would just put me on par with the rest of society, since everyone seems to have a freakin' cellphone permanently welded to one mitt!

 

Uh oh... Caught "Christine" on the tube over the weekend. If the stereo kicks on with "Boney Maronie", run for the hills!

 

Problem being, which one has the bad juju .....?
Or could it be both?



Here are the evil twins earlier today, swapping parts and plotting mayhem.
So far I have locking doors and partial window functions on the #1 car.
Not bad considering no new bloodshed!

 

I am glad you are ok! That could have turned out badly. A good lesson in the importance of disconnecting the battery. Thanks for sharing the story.


I think you need another one to be the tie breaker. I doubt all three would have
the same problem.

 

Only partial window functions ?


No new blood shed ?


That's where the problem lies. Once these things get a taste of blood....

 

You got that right!
Wonder if they would settle for a sacrifice?

I'm thinkin' maybe I could round up a few nubile dancing girls, build a big bonfire, put Perez Prado's "Voodoo Suite" on the ol' Victrola and have us a ceremony.
Nothing like a warm, bronzed native girl swingin' a chicken to get things cranked up!

 

Now that sounds like a PLAN.


After you have exhausted all the options, you can get the girls to cook the chicken,
so job done.


A voodoo ceremony, entertainment, with food at the end, all you need is to bring your own beer.

 

One would think not.
Then again, the laws of chance and probability seem to go all awry whenever I'm involved.

If I bought a turkey farm, they'd probably cancel Thanksgiving!

 

I was going to watch a vid on Amazon , but reading through this again was far more entertaining . I have to congratulate you on your perseverance ...I just love the American " can Do " attitude .


I'm looking forward to the next instalment ..( maybe another " Christine " moment )

 

Thank you sir (or madam).

Let's face it, with a few tools, unbounded optimism, a complete lack of common sense and possibly some high explosives, there isn't a hell of a lot that can't be achieved.

 

Add a really big hammer to the list: trying to swap front rotors; looks like HT Blaster and a ten#r is my last hope to get these ^^^^ing things off!

Sorry for the high jack: to point, I can see the value of a parts car. But you got sucker punched into being savior to both. Your hope is getting into Heaven (doggies, fallen .. . ). Turkey farming, too, is a bad decision.

 

The only reason I go to work is so I can look forward to coming home to read retromotors latest adventures. Please share more of the saga!

 

Wow .... and I thought I didn't have a life!
Jeez ....!

Not much Jaguar action today, was threatening rain most of the day.
Swapped an uncracked L/H taillight lens onto the #1 car.
Also swapped driver's door module and switchpack into the #1 car, to no avail.

The switchpack from this car is completely dead, probably took on water at some point. The door module swap made no difference, so reverted back.

So after a couple days fiddling around, I can at least lock the #1 car for the first time since I've owned it.
* All the windows operate both from their individual door switches and from the driver door switchpack .... except the driver's window. It only operates on the 'global' lock and unlock.
* The switchpack 'memory' light stays on constantly, even with the ignition off. It has already cost me a battery. I'm disconnecting the battery ground every time until I get that figured out.

The electrics on these cars are more confusing than Chinese 'rithmatic!

 

My day is complete.

 

I've been posting my efforts the last few days on another thread concerning the driver's door switchpack.

Today i fiddled with that a little, but also started taking off some interior pieces in preparation for removing the headliner. A couple reasons for that.
* Like my #1 car, the headliner is loose and baggy.
* The sunroof is messed up in this car. The outer metal skin has become separated from the interior upholstered portion, also doesn't close 100%. The headliner needs to come down to see what that's all about.

I'm fortunate that I can use this car as a "test bed" for stuff like this headliner removal. The interior on this car is pretty shabby; sun visors loose with missing screws and broken mounts, picnic tables awry, etc. Usually the second time you do something you can do a little better job. Familiarity with the procedure, avoiding mistakes, etc.

From what I've read, I'm also lucky that both my cars are LWB models. Supposedly there is enough extra room to weasel the headliner out the rear door opening without resorting to folding it or removing the rear windshield.

So here is the "trick du jour" the car sprang on me today.
Y'know how when you operate the driver's door inside handle, all the doors unlock?
Well, today the car decided that when you operated the outside door handle, all the doors lock!
And yes, Virginia, it happened with the only key in the ignition, ignition turned on (but thankfully engine not running).

Thank goodness for the broken sunroof. I was eventually able to open it enough to reach through and hook the inside handle.

Can't remember the last time I had this much fun!

 

I only wish mine did this. It never has. If I want all doors, or even just the driver's door to unlock on mine, you have 2 choices: pull up on the front passenger side button, or push the central locking button on the dash, with the engine running or key in "on" position. We've conditioned ourselves to this quirk over time, and it just seems normal now. At this point, even if I knew how to fix it's behavior, I doubt I would... we'd have to re-train our brains.

It's kind of fun to watch the poor kid every year at the State Inspection Station get a panicked look on his face when he can't get out. I usually try to hang out close enough so I can tell them before they get in, but sometimes (possibly deliberately, I'll never tell), I forget to.

Looking forward to an update to the switchpack thread. I've got a $5 bet with myself you'll get at least one of them working.

 

Buy yourself some Shell AT fluid off Amazon and two quarts of Lucas AT repair. I always cycle a case thru my wayward Jags then last fill two quarts of Lucas very happy for you. Drive shaft is ok?

 

Retro? Say it ain't so...

 

Uh..er..... OK, it ain't so.

Now, what in hell are we talkin' about ...?

(You gotta forgive me, these "senior" moments are becoming more and more frequent..... at least I think they are!)

 

Thought that new sinister buggy might have got 'ya. That pic was the poor garage owners demise from "Christine". Just havin' a bit of fun. How goes the project?