To comment or not to comment
#21
This world would be even prettier if we asked a simple question of ourselves:
'Am I being helpful by making a negative comment, or am I just trying to please myself.'
If its helpful then you should say something even if adversarial.
However, it amazes me how oblivious humans are in the quest for a cheap thrill at a significant expense to the other.
'Am I being helpful by making a negative comment, or am I just trying to please myself.'
If its helpful then you should say something even if adversarial.
However, it amazes me how oblivious humans are in the quest for a cheap thrill at a significant expense to the other.
#22
Too true !
And, sometimes, proclaimed opposition to political correctness has emasculated old fashioned good manners. I'm sure we've all seen some people be as impolite or insulting as they can manage under the guise of "I'm tired of this PC crap".
Political correctness is gratuitous or excessive effort to be non-offensive. The cure for this scourge is a return to normal levels of politeness.
Agreed.
A coward? Well, sure, sometimes. But nobody is obligated to voice disagreement, to prove bravery or any other reason. And, heck, I know some people that voice disagreement about 20 times a day. I don't think of them as being particularly courageous for doing so. In fact, I sometimes wish they'd just STFU ....which I'm sure some here have wished of me
Cheers
DD
Even more people are unwilling to say anything that might be considered offensive. Political correctness has emasculated free speech.
And, sometimes, proclaimed opposition to political correctness has emasculated old fashioned good manners. I'm sure we've all seen some people be as impolite or insulting as they can manage under the guise of "I'm tired of this PC crap".
Political correctness is gratuitous or excessive effort to be non-offensive. The cure for this scourge is a return to normal levels of politeness.
Criticism and disagreement is healthy because it provokes thought and discourse, provided it is respectful and not malicious.
Imagine a perfect world where everyone agrees with everyone else. War would be a distant memory. We would all think alike and be like everyone else. But that would be the end of humanity, because variety is the spice of life.
If you don't like what I have to say, tell me why. Otherwise, you're a coward. Reasonable people can disagree.
If you don't like what I have to say, tell me why. Otherwise, you're a coward. Reasonable people can disagree.
Cheers
DD
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Stuart S (12-18-2018)
#25
Sometimes you don't realize that you've offended someone.
I promoted our company's 401(k) plan to our employees, and explained that it included a matching company contribution - a guaranteed risk-free return on your investment - a "heads you win, tails you win" - and jokingly said that anyone who choses to not participate wins a free, all-expenses-paid trip to the company's psychiatrist! A few days later, I received a letter from a lawyer representing an employee at that meeting who demanded an apology because she claimed that I was picking on her since she was seeing a psychiatrist. I sent her my apology, even though I had no knowledge of her health matters. Three weeks later she resigned.
Well, that didn't accomplish much. On hindsight, I should have told her to get a better psychiatrist.
There is always a risk that something you say will unintentionally offend someone. Silence is not an option.
I promoted our company's 401(k) plan to our employees, and explained that it included a matching company contribution - a guaranteed risk-free return on your investment - a "heads you win, tails you win" - and jokingly said that anyone who choses to not participate wins a free, all-expenses-paid trip to the company's psychiatrist! A few days later, I received a letter from a lawyer representing an employee at that meeting who demanded an apology because she claimed that I was picking on her since she was seeing a psychiatrist. I sent her my apology, even though I had no knowledge of her health matters. Three weeks later she resigned.
Well, that didn't accomplish much. On hindsight, I should have told her to get a better psychiatrist.
There is always a risk that something you say will unintentionally offend someone. Silence is not an option.
#27
It USED to be "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me", but NOW it seems to be "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAUSES ME STRIFE SO THEREFORE I FORBID YOU FROM SAYING ANYTHING!!!!! WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
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#30
Otherwise, I agree that you have to let yourself be offended. Maybe a better way to put it is that even though you're offended, you choose to ignore it instead of responding and escalating the situation.
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Cee Jay (12-18-2018)
#32
#34
Sorry to offend anyone. I try not to go out of my way to offend anyone, but if it happens they probably offended me first, and I'm so sick of this, You offend me this, You offend me that ! BULL! Till I want to puke. The old adage "You can't please all of the people, all of the time". And the rest need to get a little thicker skin. Just my thoughts.
Jack
Jack
#35
True.
I'm not certain how many times I've offended another person. I'm fairly certain, though, that in the vast majority of instances it's been humor gone wrong. Either inappropriate for the circumstances or me not knowing it will be offensive to a particular person.
Right.
Discretion is the better part of valor but we can't live in silence, constantly afraid of offending someone. That's no way to live.
And pity the person who is too easily offended. That's no way to live, either.
Cheers
DD
I promoted our company's 401(k) plan to our employees, and explained that it included a matching company contribution - a guaranteed risk-free return on your investment - a "heads you win, tails you win" - and jokingly said that anyone who choses to not participate wins a free, all-expenses-paid trip to the company's psychiatrist! A few days later, I received a letter from a lawyer representing an employee at that meeting who demanded an apology because she claimed that I was picking on her since she was seeing a psychiatrist. I sent her my apology, even though I had no knowledge of her health matters. Three weeks later she resigned.
I'm not certain how many times I've offended another person. I'm fairly certain, though, that in the vast majority of instances it's been humor gone wrong. Either inappropriate for the circumstances or me not knowing it will be offensive to a particular person.
There is always a risk that something you say will unintentionally offend someone. Silence is not an option.
Discretion is the better part of valor but we can't live in silence, constantly afraid of offending someone. That's no way to live.
And pity the person who is too easily offended. That's no way to live, either.
Cheers
DD
#36
One person can NOT offend another person..... the OFFENDED person must CHOOSE to be offended.
It USED to be "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me", but NOW it seems to be "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAUSES ME STRIFE SO THEREFORE I FORBID YOU FROM SAYING ANYTHING!!!!! WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
It USED to be "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me", but NOW it seems to be "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAUSES ME STRIFE SO THEREFORE I FORBID YOU FROM SAYING ANYTHING!!!!! WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Words CAN be hurtful. Sometimes deeply.
But being offended and being hurt can be two different things, I reckon. Being hurt is, well, being hurt. Being "offended", in my mind, is akin to being indignant or feeling like you've been insulted.
Cheers
DD
#38
Not me ! I think the whole thing is silly, personally.
But, to play devil's advocate for just a moment.....
As I recall (I stand to be corrected) the DJ in Ohio who originally objected to the song wasn't offended by it. Rather, she felt it was sending the wrong message. Not the same thing.
But, at the heart of the matter, the question remains the same:: To what extremes should we go to avoid "wrong messages"? Well, the courtroom of public opinion seems to have spoken quickly in the mater. Near as I can tell there's overwhelming support for playing the song.
Cheers
DD
#39
I have unknowingly terminated a partnership for my company. Admittedly it wasn't a great one and I believe was barely break even on our side.
All I did was when at a trade show I showed two different types of products and what their advantages were in reference to the other.
Little did I know that the person I was talking to was the person we had licensed one of the two from. The other was our own invention.
He took offense from an objective view point of the merits and drawbacks of the respective products because one of the two was his "baby".
I still do not know how I feel about it; all I did was be honest.
I found out later who he was, and it was not much later that the deal was terminated.
Every now and then I meet another person like him, it seems the entire way of thinking between us are at odds.
It is best to not work together.
All I did was when at a trade show I showed two different types of products and what their advantages were in reference to the other.
Little did I know that the person I was talking to was the person we had licensed one of the two from. The other was our own invention.
He took offense from an objective view point of the merits and drawbacks of the respective products because one of the two was his "baby".
I still do not know how I feel about it; all I did was be honest.
I found out later who he was, and it was not much later that the deal was terminated.
Every now and then I meet another person like him, it seems the entire way of thinking between us are at odds.
It is best to not work together.
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