No this is not a one liner, four actually, but more of a surprise look that was worth all the one liners.

Son: Hey dad can drive the Jag to prom?
Dad: Sure!
Son: (Nothing said just eyes wide open in disbelief.)

You all know the look!

Dad: (with raised eyebrow)Just don't do nothing stupid!

 

...

 

About a year ago my boss purchased a 2007 BMW 750Li and his "new" car quickly became the envy of the office. Not surprisingly (and as a certified "car guy"), he just beamed with pride over his acquisition.

A month or so later I drive up with my "new" 2008 XK convertible and parked it right next to the boss' "Bimmer". Within just a few short hours, at least a half dozen co-workers stuck their heads in the boss' office and said, "I guess you no longer have the nicest car in the parking lot".

He got REALLY pissed.....

 

And, at your next job, you'll park WAAAAAY in the corner of the lot.

 

30 Rock - Jack explains the tux - YouTube

 

Hey Mom you need to get a license plate that says "Couger"
I said, "no son, I'm a Jaguar!"

 

See the attachment.
On a trip around the US and Canada in the '98 XK8, I couldn't resist this picture, taken somewhere in Iowa. "My Jag seats are comfortable enough, thank you very much."

 

That is great...I offered but good-news/bad-news they all take limo around these parts. At least I offered!

 

A lady says to me. Nice car. You must be a doctor or something.
No I just married well.

 

My Mother is a high school teacher and my car is pretty well known around town, so I constantly have high school kids I don't know asking to borrow the Jag. I don't know why they assume I would let them borrow it, but they keep trying.

 

"Honest ocifer .. I hardly ever take her over half-speed. Really."

As my Ex quipped .. "That's the only thing you do (driving the Jag) that is even remotely age appropriate."

 

The other day I parked my "new" baby, a 2005 XKR metallic green 20" coupe on the drive way. I guy from the neighbourhood walked by and said "Is that the new Subaru?"

 

Another One-Liner,
Last sunday I called my business partner for some business stuff.
He knew I was taking my recently acquired "new" 2005 XKR coupe that sunday for a ride.

Ringgggg...
Me "Hi its me". He, "Mwuh, where did you broke down"

 

Okay, so I take alot of abuse at work over the alleged "unreliability" of Jaguars. So, I finally tell one guy who was really ragging me, "Well, you really need to feel the pull of 300 screaming horses under the hood." To which he immediately snapped, "Is that the horsepower of the tow truck dragging that dead *** car of yours down the road?"